I feel exhausted today. I slept some but still feel tired. That has been the overwhelming feeling during ramadan. Part of me wants to skip Eid prayer altogether and sleep until noon on sunday.
I hope to get some rest tomorrow afternoon.
I havent completed reading the quran for today. I read some this afternoon but I got so tired I just went to sleep.
As I was leaving the mosque after jumah today, I felt really lonely. I wonder if I will ever have friends or feel a part of the muslim community here. It's times like this where I start to doubt myself. Like, maybe being a muslim is a bad idea for me or I will never belong. I dont know. I feel closer to Allah so that's great.
Peace and blessings to all
Yes, you will feel a part of the Muslim community there! The best way to do that is to keep going. Introduce yourself to people. You will eventually get to know them and they will accept you if they haven't already. Maybe there are discussion groups you can join there. They are usually small and easier to get to know people. When the doubts set in, replace them with positive thoughts and remember that you are doing this for you. Feeling closer to Allah is a great reason to not doubt your way of life. When you pray ask Him to help you feel like you fit in more, if you don't already ask Him for that. I will continue to pray for you too. :-)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are up to attending prayers on Eid day. It's a very special day and I think you will feel good about going. :-)