Thursday, August 16, 2012

ramadan day 27

I have gotten so used to my fasting pattern, it's hard to imagine what I did before.  I will appreciate the extra hour of sleep and being able to drink water when I'm thirsty.  I don't know if I feel any more pure after fasting during ramadan.  But I did learn that I can live without even water for long periods. 

I have kept up with my quran reading.  I will be happy to have completed it on saturday.  I guess something always seems to bother me about Abrahamic religions (Islam, Christianity, Judaism) is
the need to threaten people with hell.  Or I should say it is certainly brought up a lot. 

I have my third interview for the Singapore job.  I keep debating whether I really want to go or not. 
I can stay here and continue to go through life as a closet muslim with no real muslim friends but
still comfortable.  Or I could go to Singapore.  I could really start life over there.  But I would be
far from home, I dont know if I will like the job, and I dont know anyone really. 

I pray that Allah will guide me in the right direction.

Peace and blessings to all

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure the lack of sleep is taking a toll on you, but not eating and drinking adds to that. You said you will appreciate all of this when you can get more sleep and eat and drink again. Appreciation for these "simple" things in life is something you gained or at least increased during this month. That's one of the goals of fasting. :-)

    Great job reading the Quran. Yes, it does mention hell a lot, but I think without that we would lack some motivation to do good in this world and serve God. Sure, we do these things out of the goodness of our hearts, but knowing we will be rewarded for it, and not punished in the afterlife helps too. I for one am afraid of hell and I want to do everything I can to stay away from that place! LOL. Try not to let that bother you. Instead, allow it to motivate you. Focus on the reward, not the punishment. Heaven is mentioned quite often in the Quran too. :-)

    It's natural to weigh the pros and cons of any big decision, so it's good that you've been reflecting on that. One thing you mention often is that you feel like you have to be a closet Muslim living where you are now. Why do you feel that way? If being Muslim is who you want to be, then be openly proud of that. You can choose to be open about it anywhere you live. You don't have to move to Singapore for that. You will never be able to please everyone, so live the way you want to live and everything else will fall into place. Don't worry about hurting others. Just be yourself. The people who will respect you for that are the ones who matter most. It takes courage to do this and I know you have that. You can start a new life anywhere anytime. I believe that comes from the heart. It is something within you, not something external. And don't worry about how you became Muslim because all that matters is you are Muslim. Learn to let go of the past so you can live your life to the fullest in the present no matter where you are.

    I'm not worried about the fact that you don't know anyone in Singapore. You have a warm, caring, unselfish personality so I know you will easily make friends. If you do decide to live there, just make sure it's for the right reasons. Seeking guidance from God is the best thing to do, so you're on the right track. :-)