I kept the things I had learned about taqwa yesterday in mind. Especially, the spiritual obligations of fasting: according to the teacher they are fasting of the tongue, ear, eyes, limbs.
I have noticed that I feel better at the end of fasting then I do in the middle. Maybe, it's just knowing that I have an hour or two to go. I dont know, I just feel more spiritually connected in the evening.
In addition to reading a section (juz) of the quran each day, I have been reading another book, Sufism, The Transformation of the Heart by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee. I have read other sufism books before but I really like this one. It affirmed something that I have been thinking about for awhile, that 'la ilaha illa llah', has a more profound meaning than simple 'there is no God but God'. Something more than just there is only one God, but that there is nothing but Allah. That all of the material things, and worries, and concerns, and stresses are illusion, there is only really Allah. I can't quite say it as eloquently as he did.
Well, I guess I'm still searching for something more. I sometimes feel lost, wandering in some lonely desert. I am not even sure what I'm looking for.
On a lighter note, grocery shopping is much cheaper when fasting. :)
Peace and blessings to all
Great insights, James, including the grocery store comment. :) You're a very strong person and I find your posts very inspiring. One day you will look back, read these posts and realize how far you've come. :)
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